Feelin Friday: Stolen

Stolen?



Truth be told. i have a bad self esteem and self confidence issues. issues with myself. issues that kmk have for the somewhat the most of my life. Imagine this, where in some situation, whatever it is, in that perticular situation one would, normally for most normal person, one get a confidence boost, tapi mun kmk it would happen the exact opposite with me.

Well, there is someone like to "flirt" with me. The reason kmk engkah "..." adalah sebab in my completely somewhat deranged and PERASAN mind, that kmk think she might "flirt" with me. Haha.. Sbb the way she is when she is with me. The thing that she does is both flattering and scares me both at the same time.

Flattering: Of course la... if ada someone secantik(sekacak: bhs melayu swk), have complete confidence with herself, ngan elegantly independent, suddenly "flirt"(PERASAAN PERASAN KMK LA) or treat me differently, kmk rasa suk, or simply feeling good. Truthfully la, kmk suka like that. kmk really seriously appreciates it so much. hmm.. "suka like that"? haha..

Scares: YES. like kmk said previously, i have a bad self esteem and self confidence issues with myself. i am easily discourage ngan easily loose keyakinan ngan dirik sendirik. Why? Sounds stupid right? Well partly because i am stupid. Haha.. Because in me head, kmk heran, what does she sees in me? You know, when kmk sees nothing that is of good quality in myself. i know, that self degrading is not good. But kmk subconsciously do that to myself sometimes.

Yang kmk heran she is so so so much better than me. Kmk rasa that kmk is not worthy of her, and yet, this beautiful beautiful beautiful person, is ya Allah, treats me so good and giving me the attention that kmk don't even should d berik in first place. Bless her! and THAT FUCKING SCARES ME!

Hahaha..

Perhaps scares is too much of a strong word. kmk rasa intimidated paling sesuai. Mun dlm BM intimidated would probably suited ngan "segan". tapi segan mpun meaning xsebrapa kuat. in my opinion la. But i hope that you guys my imaginary readers would understand la. KALI.

 Yes, beautiful, confident and independent woman, intimidates me. SERIOUS.

Because..

Kmk am not any of that. i am immature, low self esteem and unreliable "man". Sucks. i know. Kmk feels that kmk don't deserve such attention from such a beautiful beautiful beautiful person. kmk don't deserve any of it.

YET.

The more she does it, the more she stole(and stealing) something from me. Well....


(Sweet dreams you)


Welcome to Feelin Friday.